Nebo, prestol in zrcalo | Sky, throne and a mirror

Nesmiselno je ločevati tisto kar delam in predstavljam na tej spletni strani in tisto kar živim. Je zelo povezano. A vendar sem vpet v več realnosti, morda celo več smislov in imam torej zato potrebo po tem, da to razložim. Vsaj malo in najprej sebi. Ni mi popolnoma jasno kje sem in kdo sem, a to je tako vseobsežen problem, da se z njim ne moram spopasti drugače kot v domišljiji. No, utopično uporabljam znake kulture, v katero sem se rodil, dali so mi ime, poimenovali so tudi vse ostalo in naredili vsemu nek smisel, a me to ne zadovolji. Seveda so ta vprašanja otročja in je nanj v danem sistemu lahko odgovoriti, a tega odgovora niti ne iščem. S tem iskanjem se vse šele osmišljuje in če bi odgovor našel, bi ga izgubil. Pred časom (deset let nazaj) sem izdelal simbolno okno svojega kraljestva, smernik za tri smeri neba, prestol in zrcalo in ti so simbolizirali (končno) podobo mojih mej v notoričnem nestrinjanju z lucidnostmi (in radostmi) tega sveta. Hotel sem svoj svet. A sem v tem iskanju izgubil prej sebe, kot našel. Nihče ti ne zagotavlja nikakršnega odgovora, ker te nihče niti nič ne vpraša. Če sprašuješ kogarkoli od kod da je in kam gre in zakaj je tu - sprašuješ to v bistvu sebe. Ta notorična vprašanja, ta vseprisotna vprašanja odmisliš, ko doživiš čudež rojstva, rojstvo svojega otroka. Je ultimativen dogodek, poseben in posvečen. Ta potem kar je, raste, in ti se z njim in svojo ljubljeno osebo potapljaš v omamo občudovanja, ljubezni, vznesenosti, radosti, a tudi odgovornosti, vsakdanjih ritmov, nevarnosti in neoprijemljivega strahu. Vsa ta iskanja, ki sem jih doživljal zadnjih vsaj dvajset let, ta potovanja v sebe v varnem naročju različnih sistemov, tudi kot poskusni zajček v skupnosti ljudi, ki so bili takrat okoli mene in me s svojo prisotnostjo in drugačnimi razmišljanji rešili in reševali, čeprav izključno na moj račun in z mojim delom, rezultira v zadnja štiri leta še drugačnega iskanja v sebi. To je bolj natančno in je bilo prisotno že prej, a takrat brez usmeritve, brez konceptov, ki so na žalost potrebni, da lahko kaj kam umestiš. Tako postanejo zadeve smiselne, imajo rep in glavo. Odgovor na prihodnost lahko leži v preteklosti, le razbrati ga je potrebno. Svojskost in unikatnost, to kar še vedno iščem, lahko najdem le v odsevih svoje notranjosti. A vendar je nujno, da se polnimo, da raziskujemo, da se nam nič ne zdi samoumevno, da iščemo svoje meje svobode tako, da ne omejujemo drugih in hkrati druge osvobajamo. To delati se učimo vse življenje in ni nujno, da se na koncu kaj sploh naučimo iz vsega tega. Modrosti ne prinese starost, prinese jo izkušnja.

It is senseless to separate the work represented on this web page from my everyday life. It is completely connected. But I am still bound by reality or maybe even more by my senses and I need to explain this as best I can, at least primarily to myself. I am not completely certain where I am and who I am, but this is such an all encompassing problem that I can not confront it other than in my fantasies. Naturally I use the signs of the culture in which I was born. It gave me my name and the names and meaning to all things around me. But this does not satisfy me at all. Of course these questions are naive and in the given system it is possible to answer them. But I do even not search for them. Searching renders all sensible and, if I will find the answers , the sense of searching would be lost. A round ten years ago, I put together a symbolic imaginary window, a three-way direction sign for the sky, a wooden throne and mirror to symbolise how my imaginary limit of space notoriously disagreed with everyday realities (and wonders) of the world. I wanted to have my world anyway. But in this quest I actually lost my self and never found it. No one is there to provide an answer because nobody is there to ask it. If you ask 'Where is it?' 'Where is it going?' 'Why it is there? it is like you are asking yourself. Those known ever-present questions are merely abstracts when you experience the birth of your own child. It is the ultimate happening, special and devoted. The child itself is there, it grows, and you with it. You dive into a narcotic feeling of adoration, love, delight, joy but also the incomprehensable fear of responsibility where rythyms of everyday life are fraught with danger. All these experiences in last twenty or more years, all those journeys within myself - and those as part of a social experiment with a certain group of people who have supported me and even been part of my salvation - have resulted in a different quest in my work in the last five years. This one is more exact and specific - it was present before but without important concepts and goals. This is the pathway to making sense, the way to get both head and tails. But it easily become ordinary. So quickly. An answer to the future can be found in the past and you just need to select it. Originality and specialness are still part of the search but I will find them only in self-reflection. It is necessary to challenge yourself , to explore to be self-aware. We need to explore our boundaries and frontiers of freedom in a way that does not restrict others. On the contrary: we need to liberate them. I believe we learn to do so throughout life. Wisdom comes with age and experience.

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Igor Spreizer, 1967, iz Ljubljane je slikarski in kiparski samouk, pri katerem sta proza in poezija postprodukta medčasja. Prvo samostojno razstavo je imel leta 1999, prozni prvenec pa leta 2002. Tako vsako leto znova na vsaj eni samostojni razstavi predstavi svoje novo delo. Rad se spomni na besede Lawrenca Durella, ki v nekem intervjuju pravi: "Življenje je vse tisto, kar mislimo, da ni." Svoje likovne vzore vsekakor povzema in moderira pri Picassu, Matissu in Kleeju, literarno najbližji pa mu je Vitomil Zupan. Kot likovni samouk je kmalu razumel, da v Sloveniji vlada zaprt krog umetnikov, kulturnikov, kritikov in galeristov z redkimi izjemami, ki tako ali drugače razstavljajo večinoma isti publiki sami sebe in v njihov namen. Zato je ednen njegovih ciljev ustvariti prostor tako imenovanih "outsider art" ljudi, ki intuitivno, neštudijsko in neinstucionalno raziskujejo vizualno plat svojih življenj, a imajo pri svoji promociji, prezentaciji, prodaji in kritiki njihovih stvaritev nemalo težav. Tako bi rad odpiral možnost vsem tistim, ki ustvarjajo na likovnem področju, a niso del institucionalizirane umetnosti, ker niti ne želijo biti, a imajo vsemu navkljub potrebo predstavljati se s svojimi deli.

Igor Spreizer, born 1967, is from Ljubljana, Slovenia and is a self-taught painter and sculptor and creative writer who believes that prose and poetry are just products of intervening time. His first solo exhibition was held in 1999, and first prose book titled "Your face is my colour" was published in 2002. Each year since he has had the opportunity to present his work in at least one big exhibition. He likes to recall the words of novelist Lawrence Durrell, who said in a television interview: "Life is all what we think it is not!" Igor's painting style reflects the influences and ideas of Picasso, Matiss and Klee. In literature he finds a close affinity to the Slovenian novelist Vitomil Zupan. As a self-taught artist, he quickly realised that in Slovenia there is a closed circle of so-called trained artists and, at the same time, both critics and galleries owners (with a few exceptions) only presented these artists to a limited public for their benefit only. Because of this, one of his goals is to create a space he calls "OUTSIDER ART", where people, peripheral to established institutions, working in an intuitive way, explore their visual views of life but experience problems in promotion, presentation, selling or criticism. He wants to open up new possibilities to all people who are creative in the field of visual arts but are not themselves part of the institutional scene (because they do not want to be) but have also a natural wish to represent themselves through their work.